Step out

So at work we have a weekly prayer/devotional time. Yup, at my job. And I don’t even work for a ministry. Anyway, my boss was talking about David & Goliath and how David stepped out on his own to do God’s will and it really made me stop and think. Thus the following thoughts on a story we all know.

A re-look at an old story. David & Goliath.
The home team: The Israelites.
They weren’t some rag-tag group of untrained men. They were fierce warriors having won against many enemies. Their leader? The first King of Israel, King Saul. Saul, the man the people loved. Saul, who stood a head taller than any man in Isreal.

The opponent: The Philistines.
Honestly, I don’t know a lot about the armies of the Philistine, besides them popping up time and time again in the Old Testament as enemies of Israel. However, I do know that Goliath was not a warrior to be taken for granted. Many scholars believe him to be over 9 feet tall, but even if this is incorrect we do know that, “He wore a bronze helmet, and his bronze coat of mail weighed 125 pounds. He also wore bronze leg armor, and he carried a bronze javelin on his shoulder. The shaft of his spear was as heavy and thick as a weaver’s beam, tipped with an iron spearhead that weighed 15 pounds.” (1 Sam. 17:5,6)

The Battle:
Each day the two armies lined up and faced each other, and then did nothing but threaten each other. The mighty army of Israelites quaked in fear at Goliath, his taunts and his threats. “When Saul and the Israelites heard this, they were terrified and deeply shaken.” (1 Sam. 17:11) No one would step forward. I wonder if the Philistines knew this would happen. Perhaps they didn’t want to go up against the Israelites as a whole so they called for just the one mightiest Israelite warrior to fight their giant.

The Israelites stood on their mountain for 40 days while the Philistines stood on theirs, no one answering the call. Not even their leader Saul whose place it should have been.

How often are we like this as Christians? We know we are mighty together. We thrive in our Christian friendships, and churches, and groups. We can conquer anything as the army of Christ. But are we willing to step out alone? To expose ourselves? To say, “I’ll leave even my fellow believers behind to defend the name of my God!” As a group we will fight, but can we stand alone?

David did.

The hero:
Enter David. Too young to even be part of the army. He was only there to bring food to his brothers. He got there just in time to see the shouting match. Each day the armies would line up to meet each other. The Israelites went with, “shouts and battle cries” and after seeing Goliath again “began to run away in fright”. (1 Sam. 17:20, 24)

For 40 days this had happened, the Israelites shouted and made noise, tried to intimidate and then ran away in fear.

How like us this is! We will gather together and shout for the Lord, we will rev each other up, and we will think we are ready for the battle— then something bigger than we had planned on gets in our way we run back in fear!

Not David.

David, just a young teenager, has a stunning response to Goliath and to his fellow Israelites, “Who is this pagan Philistine anyway, that he is allowed to defy the armies of the living God?” (1 Sam. 17:26) Who is this guy? This giant? That thinks he can defy us, God’s people?

Makes me think of the many promises God has given us.

“You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” 1 John 4:4

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?” Rom. 8:31

“I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.” Luke 10:19


David knew that he could take Goliath. Maybe partly it was a young boy's bravado, but David also knew who he was fighting for and he wasn’t afraid to fight alone.

Evidence that David had confidence in God and not himself is shown when he talks King Saul into letting him fight. “The Lord who rescued me from the claws of the lion and the bear will rescue me from this Philistine!” So, Saul let him go.

We know the story, Saul tried to give David his armor, but it didn’t fit, so David faced the mightiest warrior of the Philistine armies with a sling and five smooth stones.

One young shepherd alone, against a giant.

Even when Goliath tries to scare him David doesn’t back down, doesn’t look towards the other Israelites for help, he doesn’t try to conquer Goliath in his own strength. “You come to me with sword, spear, and javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies—the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. Today the Lord will conquer you!”

Do we ever do this? Do we face the temptations, the trails, and the enemies to our faith with this kind of daring? Even if we have to face it without the security blanket of other Christians? We must have the confidence to face what is taunting us and say with nothing more than God at our back, “I will fight you!! In the name of the Lord of Heaven’s today the Lord will conquer you!”

If we don’t than we’ll just flee back to our tents, to our comfortable places of worship, to our prayer groups, to the resting army and just prepare for the next day’s useless shouting match.

In the end David knocked down his giant with a stone. And after not fitting into Saul’s armor he had the strength to lift Goliath’s sword and cut off the head of his enemy. Alone in the world’s eyes, but really he did it with God at his side.

After David’s boldness the Israelites got up and chased after the Philistines, conquering them. When King Saul saw this he asked, “Whose son is this young man?” (1 Sam. 17:55).

I want to be someone that inspires other Christians to action. I want to be someone who makes the kings of this culture stop and say, “Who is this?”

There is much to be said in favor of the body of Christ, the army of the Lord. However, sometimes it takes a single person stepping out of the comfort of the group and standing alone for God to make a difference. I mean look at Moses, Gideon, Deborah, David and many others. They stepped up when no one else would.

“After removing Saul, [God] made David their king. He testified concerning him: 'I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.” Acts 13:22


My desire is to me a woman after God’s own heart, to do everything He wants me to… even if I have to do it alone.

Words Hurt

Sometimes it is like you can see the words coming out of your mouth and you know you should stop them, but by time you have that thought, they've already reached the ears of someone else.

I wish I could just reach out, grab them and yank them back explaining, "Oops! My words got away from me!" and the other person would be like, "Oh yeah, that happens to me to." Then I'd put my words through a shredder and with a satisfying "zzzzzzzd" I'd be done with it.

Instead, we have to live with the consequences of our words. Not only can they hurt others our words can hurt ourselves. Saying something negative about someone else can back fire and make you look bad. The old idiom, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is basically a load of hogwash.

The Bible has a lot to say about our words and how we use them. "Death and life are in the power of the tongue", "The one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin", "The tongue is a fire", "No one can tame the tongue" and one of my favorites, "Even a fool is counted wise when he doesn't open his mouth."

I still remember hurtful words that were said to me when I was young. Things that have stuck with me for years, words I've had to fight not to believe because they affect how I view myself. I also remember hurtful words I've said to others. In some cases I was able to apologize in other cases those people are gone from my life and I can't say that I'm sorry. I all cases the words were still spoken, still heard and can never be taken back.

We use words so carelessly; calling other drivers on the road names, talking bad about people we know and people we don't, talking over people instead of listening to them! Hitting people where we know it will hurt the most and then saying "I was joking". We use words like they are paper plates and styrofoam cups, using them and throwing them away. We should be using our words like fine china, something to handle with care and use sparingly.

Not only can our words powerfully damage people they can also powerfully uplift people. I regret things I’ve said, but I also regret things I didn’t say. People I didn’t thank or encourage. Our word can be sweet and life giving. “The tongue of the righteous is choice silver.” Also there is one main thing I think we were given words for. Worship. Instead of throwing my words around or using them inappropriately I hope that I can say, “my tongue shall tell of Your righteousness and of your praise all the day long.”

Our words are a curse or a gift. What are you going to do with yours?


“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.”
James 3:9-12

Verses in this blog:
Proverbs 18:21
Proverbs 13:13
James 3:6
James 3:8
Proverbs 17:28
Proverbs 26:18-19
Proverbs 10:19
Proverbs 10:20
Psalms 35:28

Shouldn't this be easier?

I’ve been having trouble with people recently. I often feel like people don’t want to be friends with me, they want to be friends with who they think I am. Then when I can’t live up to this alternate and fictional persona the people in my life get hurt. It is enough to make me want to run away and live somewhere alone. Namely in a little cabin in the foothills of Colorado, a place with no address, or at least not one I would give out.

I understand that relationships are unavoidably founded on what you get out of the relationship. Luckily our relationship with God isn’t like that. He doesn’t love us for what He can get from us. But relationships with people are like that. Does this person make me feel happy? Secure? Important? Do we get along? Do they meet some need in me? Maybe it shouldn’t be this way, but it is. Period.

The problem comes—or one problem comes— when you are depending on someone for too much or you think they give you something they can’t continue to give. That is what happens with me. I think people put a lot of emphases on what I give in a relationship, not that they aren’t willing to give as well, but I get built up as this person that provides for them emotionally. Frankly, I can never keep that up very long, and I never mean to be that person in the first place! This all ends badly. For me. For them. It makes me want to stop being a friend if it means I will inevitably let people down.

I picture my energy in computer game terms. I have an energy bar and the more people I have to give to the faster that bar gets depleted. This leaves me feeling like a failure and the people around me feeling dejected.

Part of me feels like I must be a real jerk, to keep letting people down. Am I not compassionate enough? Do I not get enough of my time? What's wrong with me?

Another part of me thinks I just need tougher friends. The people closest to me and that have been my friends the longest are the ones that initiate as much as I do. They give for awhile, I give for awhile. We are honest with each other, but not it an, “Why aren’t you giving me what I need!” kind of way.

I guess I’m looking for people that get that I can’t be everything all the time. People that don’t immediately assume I’m mad at them because my life has changed since they first met me. I have a hard enough time being someone I’m happy with and being myself. I can’t be the persona you have misguidedly judged me as too! It is too much for me. Way too much.

Anyway, I know I’m ranting, but right now my energy bar is way below empty. My conclusion?
I think I’m going to have to stick with fewer friends, people who get me. If I’ve let you down, I am truly sorry, I never meant to hurt anyone. But consider this, maybe I’m not the answer, maybe you need someone or something else.

In any case I want to echo what the Psalmist says in Psalm 55, “Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you.” And again what Peter says in 1 peter 5:7 “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”

I;m sorry but no matter how hard I try not to, at some point I will let you down. But God never, never will. He is the one that is going to have to refill my energy bar and He is the one that you (and I) need to be leaning on.

Side note:
If you are reading this and think, “Is she talking about me?” The answer is a resounding, “No”. I have no one person that I’m writing this about.